How Are Your Family Boundaries?

How are the boundaries in your marriage? Take the following quiz to evaluate.

1. We frequently argue about issues and incidents involving our families.
_____True _____False

2. My spouse believes I spend too much time with my parents/sisters/brothers.
_____True _____False

3. I dread the Holidays because of the demands on our time and needing to “please everyone.”
_____True _____False

4. Family members frequently call me when they have problems.
_____True _____False

5. I feel like we take most of the responsibility for our parents.
_____True _____False

6. I often feel torn between my spouse and my family.
_____True _____False

7. When I say “No,” I feel guilty.
_____True _____False

8. I feel responsible for the problems of others in my family.
_____True _____False

9. I frequently find myself in the middle of a conflict between two other people.
_____True _____False

10. At times, I am emotionally cut off from members of my family.
_____True _____False

11. My family has arguments and conflicts that never get resolved.
_____True _____False

12. We often have family members who become scapegoats for problems.
_____True _____False

Scoring: How many “trues” did you score?
0-1, excellent. You are focusing on your marriage by having respectful boundaries with family.

2-5, very good. Making progress. Look for opportunities to further define your position with the family.

5-9, good. Discuss boundaries with your spouse. Practice saying “No” more often.

10-12, get working. Carefully evaluate the changes you and your spouse need to deal with family more effectively.

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