Make Sure You Use Your Vacation Time

A recent study shows that many Americans do not use all their vacation time.  What?  We get the least amount of vacation than the employees in any other industrialized country and we aren't using it?  Barb gives you tips to make sure you get your well deserved time off.

Check out this episode!

Wanting What You Have, Instead of Wanting More

Are you caught in the American trap of wanting more and more?  Barb gives you tips to simplify and enjoy what you have.

Check out this episode!

Nurses Week is May 6-12

Energize the caregivers in your organization with:

"The Magic of Making a Difference"

Honor the nurses in your organization who devote their lives to caring for others by booking a special event. Barbara Bartlein, RN, has presented her magical keynote, "The Magic of Making a Difference," across the country to thousands of nurses. This high energy presentation is funny, motivational and inspirational. It features Barb's stories from Chicken Soup for the Nurse's Soul and celebrates the special gifts of caregivers everywhere.

Barb will present three sessions for your organization so everyone can attend. She is also available for a FREE book signing for employees and staff.

Limited Budget?

Get "The Magic of Making a Difference" in a webinar format for your staff. Recorded with a powerpoint, it is accessible at any time for staff to enjoy over and over again. All they need is a computer and a telephone.

Bring some "magic" to your organization this Nurses Week.

Call today to reserve your spot!

888-747-9953

For more information, please visit:

The People Pro

Happiness, Money and the Pursuit of Both

Money does not seem to make us happy. Not only do we want what we don’t have, we aren’t always sure what exactly it is that we want. And often, once we get it, it doesn’t make us happy. In fact, people have interesting attitudes about money and what it can do for them and what they will do to get it.

These are the conclusions of a number of research projects conducted by psychologists, economists and social scientist from the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Illinois, Princeton University and others. Numerous studies are evaluating the connection between happiness and money.

In the book, Are You Normal About Money?, author Bernice Kanner outlines responses from a public survey posted on the Bloomberg Web site. According to respondents, sixty-five percent would live on a deserted island for a year for $1 million dollars. Sixty percent would even admit to a crime that they didn’t do and serve six months in jail for the amount—and 10 percent would lend their spouse for a night. For $10 million, most of us would do just about anything: one-fourth would abandon our friends, our family, and our church. And for that amount of money, 7 percent—one in every fourteen of us—would even murder.

Part of the problem with money is that people want more. Thanks to fifty plus years of mass media pushing merchandise at us, we are convinced that more will make us happier. For decades, Lewis Lapham has been asking people how much money they would need to be happy. “No matter what their income,” he reports, “a depressing number of Americans believe that if only they had twice as much, they would inherit the estate of happiness promised them in the Declaration of Independence. The man who receives $15,000 a year is sure that he could relieve his sorrow if he had only $30,000 a year; the man with $1 million a year knows that all would be well if he had $2 million a year…Nobody, he concludes, “ever has enough.”

Yet, there is no firm research that supports the notion that more will make us happier. The Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences in California examined data from 20 nations regarding happiness. In each country, rich people reported more happiness than the poor. But in comparing nations overall, the pattern was mixed, with the happiness levels for poor countries often nearly as high as they were for richer ones. (The United States was tops in happiness, but Cuba was a close second.)

While Americans have become more affluent, they happiness levels have not really increased. In a series of studies by the University of Chicago, the average U.S. family has become 60% richer in the last thirty years, they are not significantly happier. In 1960, approximately 42% of Americans surveyed pronounced themselves “very happy.” A similar poll in 1990, found that 43% were “very happy.”

What seems to matter most for your sense of well-being and your happiness level is how you stack up against your neighbors. People tend to use this yardstick of comparison to evaluate their money and circumstances. Even a millionaire will feel miserable in the company of billionaires.

An example is found in the wild financial years of the mid-eighties, when many New York investment bankers earning “only” $600,000 a year felt poor and suffered from depression, anxiety, and loss of confidence. On less than $600,000, they were unable to keep up with their neighbors, colleagues and friends. As one broker described his lack of success, “I’m nothing. You understand that, nothing. I earn $250,000 a year, but it’s nothing, and I’m nobody.”

This is the problem with money and consumption. Each new luxury quickly becomes a necessity and then an even newer luxury must be identified. We become convinced that we need the flat screen TV, granite counter tops, and heated seats in the new car. From early on, we learn a pattern of consumption that is focused on “extrinsic values,” of obtaining more to make us happy.

There is increasing evidence, however, that the pursuit of affluence has damaging psychological effects, including severe depression and anxiety. In a series of case studies dating to 1993, Ryan and Kasser examined the effects of pursuing money and material goods. Focusing excessively on obtaining wealth was found to create a lower sense of well-being and self-esteem. Everyone who sought affluence as a goal had a lower score for happiness.

There was one point that all research on happiness seemed to agree; happy people do better than unhappy people in most realms of life; they have better social relationships, do more volunteer work, have better health and make more money. So money may not make you happier, but being happy may make you more money.

Copyright 2008 by Barbara Bartlein. All rights reserved.

For more information to build your relationship, please visit: Marriage Tips

Nurses Week is May 6-10. Book Your Event Now!

Honor the nurses who devote their lives to caring for others by booking a special event. Barbara Bartlein, RN, has presented her magical keynote, "The Magic of Making a Difference," across the country to thousands of nurses.

Designed for the helping professions, this entertaining and inspirational presentation motivates with laughter. Successful, happy people are those focused on giving to others and following their own personal passion. They lead balanced, purposeful lives utilizing humor to keep a perspective.

In this presentation, participants learn:

• To identify the three factors for happiness
• To maximize humor to cope with difficult situations
• How to understand others
• The importance of doing the right thing
• How to avoid the expectation machine
• The value of small kindnesses in making a difference

Book Barbara NOW to reserve your spot for Nurse's Week

FREE Couples Workbook

The new edition of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? is now available. Order yours on Amazon and receive a FREE Couples Workbook and Special Reports. Simply forward the e-mail receipt to barb@thepeoplepro.com and I will send your your FREE gifts.

Order the revised and expanded edition of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Overcoming the Myths That Hinder a Happy Marriage and I will send you absolutely FREE:

• A comprehensive Couples Workbook that includes quizzes and exercises you can do together.
• Special Report--25 Tips to Get Home From The Office Sooner
• Special Report--Blasting the Flues.
• This offer is worth over $40.00. Why are we doing this? Because this raises our numbers on Amazon and helps to promote the book.

If you write a review on Amazon (assuming you like the book) I will also send you Joan Stewarts E-Book on the Publicity Tips for 2006. This Free e-book includes 24 of Joan's very best publicity tips from her free ezine. Simply let me know that you wrote a review and I will send it immediately for download.

Order your copy now at Why Did I Marry You Anyway?

Marriage Counseling--The Top Three Things That You Must Talk About Before Saying "I Do"

The wedding preparations seem endless; send the invitations, order the cake, choose the flowers, pick out a dress, etc. Couples run in a frenzy, especially as the important date gets closer. The wedding is the constant topic of conversation but are you and your partner taking the time to talk about what is really important?

Too often, more attention is given to the wedding day than is given to preparing for marriage. To my amazement many couples say “I Do,” without any discussion of the issues that often lead to divorce. Perhaps there is magical thinking that “things will just work out,” or “it will be better after we are married.”

The top three issues that you need to discuss before you say “I do” are money, sex, and kids. These are the top concerns that couples argue about after marriage. You will avoid a lot of conflict if you can reach some agreement on key questions.

Money. There are five different money personalities; planners, savers, strugglers, impulsives and deniers. Planners are careful savers and enjoy financial planning. Savers are extremely careful with their money and seldom see their finances upset by unexpected events. But they are hesitant to take any risks. Strugglers have frequent set backs with their finances. Impulsives are not disciplined to save and plan for the future. And deniers dislike financial planning and don’t worry about the future.

It is important that you and your partner understand your money personality and come to some agreements. Research has shown that planners and savers are the best money managers and wise couples let the partner with that personality handle the money. If neither of you have developed those skills then it is important to seek outside assistance.

Sex. Many couples are shocked to find that their sexual needs are different. Or they have the unrealistic expectation that sex and romance will be like when they first met. Sex lives ebb and flow and wise couples communicate about their needs. A commitment to build intimacy both in and out of the bedroom is essential. You can arrive at a comfortable agreement as to frequency and other issues by some careful communication.

What happens outside of the bedroom is as important as the activity behind closed doors. Research has shown that men who do housework have better sex lives. Couples who partner in activities of daily living find that this partnership spills into the bedroom as well. A little romance, understanding and communication outside of the bedroom enhances intimacy in a marriage.

Kids. Basic question: do you want them? I know, this seems obvious. Yet I have married couples who come to counseling arguing whether they want children. This needs to be discussed before you say “I do.” And if your partner says they REALLY don’t want them, don’t count on changing their mind after marriage. It probably won’t happen.

Sometimes couples already have children and disagree on how to raise them. It is important to talk about and arrive at a shared philosophy of parenting. This does not mean that you have to agree on everything. It is very common that one parent is more of the disciplinary but philosophy, strategies and approaches to child rearing need to be discussed.

Talk about these issues before saying “I do” and you and your partner will be able to navigate the challenges of a long term relationship.

FREE marriage quizzes to determine your money personality, to increase intimacy and evaluate your parenting style at Marriage Tips

Get your copy of the revised and expanded edition of Why Did I Marry You Anyway?

Check out Barb's other websites at Personality Test, The People Pro, and Stress Management

Marriage Counseling--The New Edition of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Now Available

The new and expanded edition of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? is now available for purchase. You will discover the secrets the experts use to help couples build and maintain a long term relationship. You will learn:

• The myths that hinder a happy marriage
• The top three issues that couples fight about
• Why love is not enough
• How to argue effectively
• The glue for a long term marriage

Get your copy now at Amazon or Marriage Tips.